I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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