Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize