We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
