ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
