You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
