Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
