Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think my moral compass just broke
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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