I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
