morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
