dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize