You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
