sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
