I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
