Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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