My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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