Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
