did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
