So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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