ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
