"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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