It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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