but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
