Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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