Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
