I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
