I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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