i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
