i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You need Xanax blowdarts
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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