Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Randomize
