we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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