Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
