At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
