Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize