If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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