What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
