HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
