i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
