we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
