Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
ttyl tear gas
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Randomize
