We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
