Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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