it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
