did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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