Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
