Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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