there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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