Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
