She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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