i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
