Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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