forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
