i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
