Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
