you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
