hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
