I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize