Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
