he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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