Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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