I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
