I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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