I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can't turn off my feet"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
