sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
