you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So vagazzling was a success
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
