scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
