There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize